Friday, March 16, 2007

Daily Update

There I was standing face to face with the wild wilderness of Brentwood. It was
like a track gun went off as I sprang to action! Each strategic footstep was swift
and powerful. Like I said a few runs ago, I simply am un-able to go slow anymore.
The bands of slow-dom have been shed. I started out fast, and it only got faster.
I wasn't at full speed, but I was pushing lots faster than normal. The extra energy
boost could have come from the dinner snack at Diddy Reese that I had. I had wolfed
down two cookies on the way home from the work place. This race solidified my
status as a Champion Gazelle. Much like the run from early january, I owned the
track in a glorious manner. I don't know why my destiny illuded me for so long, but
now I have found it. And in a week or two I'll probably surpass it too. With evey
hoof gripping the trail, I could hear people admire my expertise from every angle.
As I glided by someone I could hear him swearing and complaining about car's in the
distance; No buddy, those are not car high-beams, that was my determination and
sheer will power beaming from the rising Champion Gazelle. He was afraid of me, I
could smell it. Better than the average gazelle, the champion Gazelle dosen't mess
around with going for walks or jogs. Strictly running. In the distance I could
hear music being sung to my praise, I think it was a group called 'Ladysmith Black
Mambazo'. They had to be hiding off to the side of the path in the bushes and
trees. Remember about a month ago when I was talking about someone I named 'Hot
pants'? Well I saw her again. It was in the middle of my run. My radiant aura
must have frightened her as I sped by. I think she tried chasing me for a while,
I'm not positive, cause I didn't look back. Sorry 'Hot-Pants', maybe next time. I
was just to fast for the doe at that time.

Now, that having been said; My right calf muscle has a knot in it, or possibly a
tear, as well as my Tibialis Anterior muscle ligament is damaged where it connects
to the upper Tibia next to the knee cap (to the point where it hurts to walk). I
must take more care when I run next with such power and speed.

After that I made my way over to Jeff's. The Office was an extended re-run, an hour
long. Still funny though. I think Hammer and Olsen were miffed cause they had to
turn the channel away from Basketball. They were going for a marathon viewing
session or something. I dont' think the two of them have left the apartment in
three days, just because basketball season is winding down. They need to get all
the viewing in before it goes out of style.

We tried to go over to the Greenfield Girls flat, but they wern't home. They
probably heard us coming. I suppose we were a little rambunctious. So instead we
worked on our Man-Box designs. Another successful adventure. I'll be ready to
start carving by saturday-sunday night I presume. As we did that we also watched a
most appropriate show: Man vs. Wild. This week Bear was in Hawaii, the volcano
episode. After that Stunt Junkies was on. But it was dumb.

I'm listening to Bruce Springsteen right now.

Lunch was sponsored by Marvins again. It really hit the spot.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Daily Update

Every morning as I come into work, it feels like another zip-a-dee-doo-da day in the
merry ol' land of Oz. As I go from one desk to the next it feels like I'm hopping
merrily down the yellow brick road. Then when more work gets piled on my desk its
like the horrible winged monkeys circling above waiting to come in for the kill,
with dreary gray skies and dead trees along the road. And then all of a sudden the
Nice Witch from the East comes in her shiny Willy-Wonka bubble symbolizing the
coming of lunch time. Its all happy and peaceful and the Lolly-pop gang is singing
in the background.

After that exciting adventure at work I journeyed home. I spoke with someone on the
phone, lets call this someone 'person X' for the time being. So Person X calls and
we decide to go to the store. Reminding 'X' of time constraints (dinner party at
8), we joyfully went to OSH (home depot type store). X and I were looking for a
Dremel tool (just like what a dentist will use, except made for wood, stone, and
metal.) X was like a kid at a candy store analyzing every last ingredient and every
combination of every sweet possible. As we turned onto the tool aisle, it was like
Christmas morning. The eyes bulging wide open, the Wow's, Ohh's and Ahh's, as X
stood from a distance not believing their eyes, rearing up the courage to actually
dive into the spectacular goodness of what the store was providing. For a split
second I actually thought we were at Disneyland. It was quite amusing for a while,
until the third or fourth call/text message I got asking where we were. Oops, we
were already late for our 8 o'clock appointment. I reminded X of the hour, but X
just exclaimed that 'This here what we were doing was more important. I just went
with it trying not to annoy everyone with me. It really seemed like everything we
did made us later and later.

We had a lovely time at Johnny's Pizza. And then a follow up grand ol time at my
place in the name of desert. We were showing off some of or our Man-Box designs,
that was until the girls started making fun of us for being so cool. You could cut
the jealousy with a knife's. And as a side note, just because I say I cleaned my
room doesn't necessarily mean that my room is completely clean. Baby steps is what
we're thinking here. Currently there are about 7 different messes in my room. I
periodically pick up, but new messes form daily. Its a constant battle.

My eyes regretfully opened this morning at 7:20am. My alarm was going off. I
sprang from my bed, turned my alarm off, layed back in bed, and for the next 7
minutes told myself not to fall back asleep. I was to drive Sarah to the airport.
Promptly at 7:27 I got up, and dressed myself on the way out the door. It only took
me ten minutes to deliver Sarah from her place to the Airport, for her 'last
departure'. It then took me 45 minutes to get back to my home/office.

This morning there were lots of Police/ambulance/firetruck sirens in Westwood. Sure
There are two hospitals across the street, but still, there were a lot of em.

I spoke with my dad late last night, yes I'm still organizing my taxes. Its not my
fault, usually do them in early Feb., but this time it's USC's fault for not sending
me a W-2. But my task for tonight is to find a ton of receipts that will get me
more money back. So this should be fun for me. All I have to say is 'hello 42"
plasma hi def TV'.

I finally found my Electric Blue 'Smith' Sunglasses. They were under a seat in my
car. Now just one lost item: a single guitar string, in a small plastic bag. I
don't have my hopes up though.

I'm listening to my new Yodeling CD (I think I heard them use the 'n-word' a few
times in one song.) Those crazy germans.

Lunch was sponsored by Jamba Juice

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Daily Update

After work, I met up with a friend of mine. His name is Tom. I knew him from
school. He was a Major in the Army and has served two tours in Iraq. He got back
lastly a year ago. He was called up a week before mid-terms of our first semester,
and was told he had a week to settle all affairs, and to report for duty again. We
had dinner at some Pizza place. He's a fun guy to hang out with, except for the
fact that he's probably the only person I know trying to 'un-mormonize' me. But
don't worry everyone, it dosen't work.

At Home I discovered that a few more of my book orders had arrived (Emergency
Medicine in the Wilderness, Edable plants, Suburban and Urban Survival, and The Art
of Tracking) And then of corse a Yodeling cd. What great reading material, reminds
me of the three months I was in the Boy Scouts.

Later we worked on our Man-Boxes at Jeff's place. I brought Cheesecake over as
well. It apparently wasn't enough cause after an hour or two we decided we needed
slurpees. I was planning on talking jeff into making food, cause he loves his
deserts, but I thought that might damage my health a notch or two. After all, I
didn't go running; so maybe next time Jeff. I have finalized my design for my
Man-box. I will be portraying the battle of 'good vs. evil' by carving into the
lid and sides and maybe even bottom of my Man-Box. The scene will be in mid-battle.
It will be fought by angry dragons, ferrocious ninjas, and angry samuri. All this
action will be happening inside the imperial palace in China. the sun will be
shining, the skys clear, with a few clouds floating here or there. The Box will be
set on top of little dragon feet, giving it the look of a priceless treasure chest.
All of it will be stained a rich cherry-walnut color and polished then laqured for a
shiny protective finish. The interior will be covered in the sassy deep velvetie
red. Arent you so excited for me?!

At home I cleaned my room (a little bit).

I can't tell you how excited I am for the Pancake buffet this upcoming saturday
morning! I plan to eat more pan fried dream disks than everyone else, thats for
sure. Although I plan to eat myself silly, I still anitcipate tagging along to the
service project. But just so you know I do plan on showing by glorious Buddah type
misery through out the entire day. Kind of like when we went to The Griddle.

This morning I went with one of my bosses over to Beverly Hills to visit two of our
buildings. One is half built and the other is just about finished. We had to
measure a bunch of medical offices. By the time we were done I was extremly hungry.

Lunch was sponsored by the Breakfast Burrito at Marvins :)

I'm listening to two girls in the other room chat-it-up, talking about nothing at

oh, and I forgot to tell you about me Fighting the Battle of My Life, maybe tomorrow.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Daily Update

Daylight savings is really throwing me off. It looked like it was noon outside, but
the clock said it was time to go home. What was I to do? So I left work which
appeared to be, but actually wasn't, early. The early morning sunlight is also
messing my system up cause now I wake up on time and I'm acually awake, rather than
desperatly wanting to sleep for another hour. I adjusted my alarm clock 5 minutes
two weeks ago which helped in the fine tuning of the proper REM cycle.

For FHE we were all going to dinner (dinner groups). I of cousre immediatly started
forming a splinter group after hearing that everyone else was to go to Chili's. I
didn't really want to wait that long. Jeff, Lincoln, and I went to a place called
'Killer Shrimp', all they serve is Fabulously spicy shrimp soaking in a wonderful
bowl of spiciness, with all the bread you can wolf down. Its over in Marina Del
Ray. Jeff is funny to eat with cause he is pretty demanding of the waitress.
Driving there reminded me of being a true Utah driver. Its not to often you can cut
people off in the right hand turn lane, anticipate the green light for 'pole
position', race ahead of three other lanes of traffic while performing jim's
trademark 'Utah Lane-Change' (changing lanes three times in the time it takes
everyone else to change lanes once). I don't know if Jeff and Lincoln were
impressed or scared. But it was fun cause I was screaming the whole time I was
doing it.

After that we hung out at Jeff's. Evan was watching crappy tv agin. I started
complaining so then Jeff took charge, and then promptly turned it to even crappier
tv. After sitting there in Awe, not only did I feel dumber, I also started feeling
gayer, so I decided to go home and do laundry. While doing that, I surfed the
internet. I found a website called so I looked up any poeple I might
have known from my mission. I only ran into 3 or 4 people that i used to be
aquainted with.

I don't think I'll be able to go running tonight, but don't worry, I have another
gem in store for you in just such an occasion. (It has to do with 'Fighting the
Battle of my Life'. Oh ya. )

I'm listening to 'The Guano Apes'.

Lunch was enjoyed at Quizno's.

Monday, March 12, 2007

Daily Update

My apolagies to all, I didn't make it to work on Friday. I was out of town and away
from my computer, therefore did not have a chance to Update you all. The only
exciting thing I did on thursday was go running. The situation was ideal for that.
I again was triumphant. I ran with the power of the African Lion. No one was even
thinking of passing me on this day. I did make one discovery, that I am now at a
state where I can NOT go slow. It was a late start, but I still cut thru the air
like Mufasa racing towards his wildebeest buffet.

On friday I flew to SLC. I've decided that airports are collection pots for
freak-shows and fashion extremists. Whats the deal with all these cowboy hats and
safari hats? I don't see that many people walking around the city with those hats,
so why is it that people feel the need to travel in these hats? they look
rediculous. What's with that?

In SLC I started off by going to lunch with my sisters, Becca (ie 'old sister') and
Brandi (ie. 'whats her face', 'some relative', , 'parol officer', or 'new sister').
I was in grand true form. I don't know what it is about Salt Lake, but the insults
were flying, the comedy couldn't have been better. It brought the best of me out.
And I'm glad the girls were there to witness this wonderful occasion. Of corse,
they were the target of much of it. It was great cause in the first 5 minutes of
hanging out with Brandi, I discovered two of the four words she hates most (
'hit-that', and 'F-ing') and another taboo thing she hates (having people try to put
food in her mouth.) Upon finding this out it was almost like a permission slip to
do it more, so I did/tried. I was going to try to set the girls up with some of the
high school kids that were also there, but when I decided that they were all gay and
annoying, I had to announce it to the rest of the resturaunt. After 'Outing' the
kids, they left. Wanting to continue the fun, (my fun), I told Brandi she was
coming to Ryan & Cheyney's reception with me. That plan backfired when we sat next
to Kristen and the other girls who decided to start asking if she had heard stories
about me. Then it got not-so-funny for jimbo. Its all a bit blurry after that. On
the way out Brandi tried to push a lady in a wheelchair down the hill until I
stopped her.

When going thru the airport, it was pretty slick, except for when they took my water
bottle away. The only thing I had with me was my sketch book. I figured I could
borrow any clothes I might need from my younger brother. Turns out he has quite a
nice collection that he might not be able to find next time he tries to.

On the flight back, I made it to the emergency exit row and dove for the window
seat. It was just fine until some old creepy woman waddled up to the asile and
asked about vacancy. She had a crazed look in her eye; kind of like she was ready
to murder someone. (I definatly thing she has made an outfit of someone elses' skin
to complement her sweater made of human hair). She kept wanting to make eye
contact, but I knew that if I did, she would then try to steal my soul. Luckily
siting next to the window gave me an out, and I slept for a good amount of time. I
woke up at two points. The first time I awoke as I took a deep breath, my eyes
opened, and to change my position I turned from the left side to the right. Oops!
There she was just waiting for me to try to escape! there was no way around her
gaze! I quickly looked back, then forward, but it was to late, she had already
started asking me questions. I was trapped. Before I could answer her first
interigatory question, she was already half way thru the next conversation. The
only thing that saved me was when the air-waitress stopped by, cause this
'horrible-wig-wearing-granny' loved food. She trapped the waitress' with the same
gaze. and after granny found out I wasn't interested in any drinks or snacks, she
would mumble something in my direction then tell the waitress's that I needed a
bunch of stuff. Wanting simply to portray fact, I quickly corrected the hostile
granny. With a sorry puppy-dog face she turned to me and started mumbling something
about how many grand kids she needed to feed and crap like that. I got scared when
she looked at me so I just turned toward the window mid-sentance and just told her
not to eat me. She ate those airline crackers like Cookie Monster ate cookies,
splashing and dribbling everywhere. In true Rodney Dangerfield fashion and in my
best Brooklyn accent, I just told her to "keep it off the walls." After she was
done with round one, and the stuartesses were collecting trash, she came up with
some excuse as to why she would need two more drinks and some 5 bags of crackers.
Her wig looked bad. If I was to name her I'd call her Jabbet the Hutt.

With 'daylight savings' messing up my typically acurate internal clock, I decided to
jump start my system by forcing myself to activity at an earlier hour. It was a
Warm Sunday morning. I think the time was 9 or 10. That early on the weekend its
all a blur to me anyway. I started with a slight warm up start. Due to the Farmers
Market I had to park a block away. When I got to the track I launched into action.
This trek really was wild, I had to dodge some of the local pony's that were giving
pony rides to the local youngsters. Good thing I was ready for the challenge. This
time was different. I went into this journey knowing that it would be difficult; an
empty stomach, dehydrated, tired, and only mildly stretched out; A little weaker
than last thursday's Mufasa trek, but this time I was like Simba. Young and
ambitious. stronger and faster than my counterparts. I still passed lots of people,
and the dirt flew up behind me as my claws would grip the pavement under me. It was
almost as if I was using all four limbs to accellerate forward at greater speeds.
Exhaustion quickly set in cause by 10 am it was already 70 degrees. Being the Lion
that I was, I needed a watering hole, but couldn't find one. I was to stubborn to
slow down though; there were to many other Lionesses out there that Simba felt like
he needed to impress. The north edge of the Country club was in the shade so it was
a nice break from the sweltering Africa savanna type heat. It was a weak home
stretch, but I was OK with it. I got to my car spent of all energy. luckily I
found a spare water bottle in there to replentish some of the used hydration.

Did you guys see me at church. Man I looked good. I mean really good. I exclaimed
"hey everybody, come and see how good I look!" a number of times.

Josh shaved his 'Flowing Mane of Manliness'. Now he looks like he is 12.

Today Lunch was sponsored by Marvins again. I got 'the usual'.

I'm listening to Guns N Roses currently.

I think there's a few more exciting things over this past weekend, but i'll have to
backtrack tomorrow.