Daily Update

My apolagies to all, I didn't make it to work on Friday. I was out of town and away
from my computer, therefore did not have a chance to Update you all. The only
exciting thing I did on thursday was go running. The situation was ideal for that.
I again was triumphant. I ran with the power of the African Lion. No one was even
thinking of passing me on this day. I did make one discovery, that I am now at a
state where I can NOT go slow. It was a late start, but I still cut thru the air
like Mufasa racing towards his wildebeest buffet.

On friday I flew to SLC. I've decided that airports are collection pots for
freak-shows and fashion extremists. Whats the deal with all these cowboy hats and
safari hats? I don't see that many people walking around the city with those hats,
so why is it that people feel the need to travel in these hats? they look
rediculous. What's with that?

In SLC I started off by going to lunch with my sisters, Becca (ie 'old sister') and
Brandi (ie. 'whats her face', 'some relative', , 'parol officer', or 'new sister').
I was in grand true form. I don't know what it is about Salt Lake, but the insults
were flying, the comedy couldn't have been better. It brought the best of me out.
And I'm glad the girls were there to witness this wonderful occasion. Of corse,
they were the target of much of it. It was great cause in the first 5 minutes of
hanging out with Brandi, I discovered two of the four words she hates most (
'hit-that', and 'F-ing') and another taboo thing she hates (having people try to put
food in her mouth.) Upon finding this out it was almost like a permission slip to
do it more, so I did/tried. I was going to try to set the girls up with some of the
high school kids that were also there, but when I decided that they were all gay and
annoying, I had to announce it to the rest of the resturaunt. After 'Outing' the
kids, they left. Wanting to continue the fun, (my fun), I told Brandi she was
coming to Ryan & Cheyney's reception with me. That plan backfired when we sat next
to Kristen and the other girls who decided to start asking if she had heard stories
about me. Then it got not-so-funny for jimbo. Its all a bit blurry after that. On
the way out Brandi tried to push a lady in a wheelchair down the hill until I
stopped her.

When going thru the airport, it was pretty slick, except for when they took my water
bottle away. The only thing I had with me was my sketch book. I figured I could
borrow any clothes I might need from my younger brother. Turns out he has quite a
nice collection that he might not be able to find next time he tries to.

On the flight back, I made it to the emergency exit row and dove for the window
seat. It was just fine until some old creepy woman waddled up to the asile and
asked about vacancy. She had a crazed look in her eye; kind of like she was ready
to murder someone. (I definatly thing she has made an outfit of someone elses' skin
to complement her sweater made of human hair). She kept wanting to make eye
contact, but I knew that if I did, she would then try to steal my soul. Luckily
siting next to the window gave me an out, and I slept for a good amount of time. I
woke up at two points. The first time I awoke as I took a deep breath, my eyes
opened, and to change my position I turned from the left side to the right. Oops!
There she was just waiting for me to try to escape! there was no way around her
gaze! I quickly looked back, then forward, but it was to late, she had already
started asking me questions. I was trapped. Before I could answer her first
interigatory question, she was already half way thru the next conversation. The
only thing that saved me was when the air-waitress stopped by, cause this
'horrible-wig-wearing-granny' loved food. She trapped the waitress' with the same
gaze. and after granny found out I wasn't interested in any drinks or snacks, she
would mumble something in my direction then tell the waitress's that I needed a
bunch of stuff. Wanting simply to portray fact, I quickly corrected the hostile
granny. With a sorry puppy-dog face she turned to me and started mumbling something
about how many grand kids she needed to feed and crap like that. I got scared when
she looked at me so I just turned toward the window mid-sentance and just told her
not to eat me. She ate those airline crackers like Cookie Monster ate cookies,
splashing and dribbling everywhere. In true Rodney Dangerfield fashion and in my
best Brooklyn accent, I just told her to "keep it off the walls." After she was
done with round one, and the stuartesses were collecting trash, she came up with
some excuse as to why she would need two more drinks and some 5 bags of crackers.
Her wig looked bad. If I was to name her I'd call her Jabbet the Hutt.

With 'daylight savings' messing up my typically acurate internal clock, I decided to
jump start my system by forcing myself to activity at an earlier hour. It was a
Warm Sunday morning. I think the time was 9 or 10. That early on the weekend its
all a blur to me anyway. I started with a slight warm up start. Due to the Farmers
Market I had to park a block away. When I got to the track I launched into action.
This trek really was wild, I had to dodge some of the local pony's that were giving
pony rides to the local youngsters. Good thing I was ready for the challenge. This
time was different. I went into this journey knowing that it would be difficult; an
empty stomach, dehydrated, tired, and only mildly stretched out; A little weaker
than last thursday's Mufasa trek, but this time I was like Simba. Young and
ambitious. stronger and faster than my counterparts. I still passed lots of people,
and the dirt flew up behind me as my claws would grip the pavement under me. It was
almost as if I was using all four limbs to accellerate forward at greater speeds.
Exhaustion quickly set in cause by 10 am it was already 70 degrees. Being the Lion
that I was, I needed a watering hole, but couldn't find one. I was to stubborn to
slow down though; there were to many other Lionesses out there that Simba felt like
he needed to impress. The north edge of the Country club was in the shade so it was
a nice break from the sweltering Africa savanna type heat. It was a weak home
stretch, but I was OK with it. I got to my car spent of all energy. luckily I
found a spare water bottle in there to replentish some of the used hydration.

Did you guys see me at church. Man I looked good. I mean really good. I exclaimed
"hey everybody, come and see how good I look!" a number of times.

Josh shaved his 'Flowing Mane of Manliness'. Now he looks like he is 12.

Today Lunch was sponsored by Marvins again. I got 'the usual'.

I'm listening to Guns N Roses currently.

I think there's a few more exciting things over this past weekend, but i'll have to
backtrack tomorrow.