Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Upcoming Movies... which are Repeats

I was a little bored at work today and decided to look through upcoming movies at ComingSoon.net. It looks like there a bunch of good movies coming out this next year. Usually I just review this for the summer, but I noticed an interesting trend. HALF of the movies coming out are REMAKES! How unoriginal. I've cataloged the upcoming movies and Have commented after them. Red means it came from a Book, or its a sequel. Orange means that I think they took the idea from another movie, which makes it un-original. Green means I don't care and I want to see it.
My conclusion is at the end...

November 6

- The Box - Possibly a remake, definitely a Take-off. It sounds like so many other old scary movies.
- Collapse - Documentary of Economic Collapse, wow, I sure want to hear that crap again.
- Disney's A Christmas Carol -
This one's been around for a LONG time. Who hasn't heard of it.
- Endgame - True story of Apartheid south Africa.
- The Fourth Kind - Alien Abduction, Close encounters...REPEAT
- The Men Who Stare at Goats - Its being called a True Life story.
- Precious: - Based on NOVEL
- Splinterheads - ... carnival con artists... Hmmm (?)
- That Evening Sun - looks dumb
- Turning Green - distasteful foreign film.
November 13
- 2012 - Like this hasn't been done 3 times in the last year! Nobody likes these stupid Scary tactics movies.
- Dare - High school friends must find themselves - Looks really dumb, and its been done before.
- Fantastic Mr. Fox - Kids Book - Maybe
- Love Hurts - Romantic comedy, like all others.
- The Messenger - War drama
- Oh My God? - Documentary, Ever seen the History Channel?
- Pirate Radio - True Story
- Ten9Eight: Shoot for the Moon - Teens growing up in Poverty...Seen it!
- Uncertainty - Looks dumb
- William Kunstler: Disturbing the Universe - Documentary-esque
- Women in Trouble - Looks dumb
November 18
- Red Cliff - Han Dynasty war action, I'll see it though.
November 20
- The Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans - Looks Dumb!
- The Blind Side - True Story
- Broken Embraces
- Defamation - Documentary on Racism, its been done plenty.
- Fix - Inspired by TRUE events!
- Mammoth - foreign
- The Missing Person
- Planet 51 - Hmmm
- The Twilight Saga: New Moon - From Books! - its not like I'm gonna read it.
November 25
- Me and Orson Welles Documentary
- Ninja Assassin - Kung Fu fighting! - I can't wait
- Old Dogs
- The Princess and the Frog - Every kid has heard/seen this before.
- The Road - Post Apocaliptic earth, fighting for survival, Hmmm, I saw Mad Max in the 80's.
November 27
- The Private Lives of Pippa Lee - No-way

December 4
- Armored - Whats this, Oceans 15?! Everyone's seen this before.
- Brothers - Wait a minute... I just read this plot summary, while composing THIS Blog! (see The Messenger)
- Everybody's Fine - Remake of a foreign Flick.
- Serious Moonlight - More adulterous affairs, blah blah blah...
- Transylmania - Take off. Anything Transyl-whatever related means Dracula.
- Until the Light Takes Us - Documentary of Heavy Metal in the 80's. Orange for most. New for all the youngsters.
- Up in the Air
December 11
- A Single Man - I don't know... It seems like Brokeback Mtn, part 2 to me.
- Invictus - Another South African re-unification story, thanks Nelson.
- The Lovely Bones - Based on a NOVEL.
- Rocket Singh: Salesman of the Year -
- The Slammin' Salmon -
December 18
- Avatar - and its a FOX film.
- Did You Hear About the Morgans? - Hugh Grant, need I say more. Every character of his is the same.
- Nine - um... its a Musical.
- The Young Victoria - at least they chose a New Queen - Netflix maybe.
December 23
- Police, Adjective - Cops and drugs
December 25
- Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakuel - I grew up watching these cartoons!
- The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus - weird
- It's Complicated - looks dumb
- Sherlock Holmes (Warner Bros. Pictures) - Who hasn't heard of this already?! - could be good.
December 30
- The Loss of a Teardrop Diamond - a play written in the 50's
- The White Ribbon
December TBA
- Nutcracker: The Untold Story
- Who hasn't heard of this already? So someone tries to add to it.
January 1
- Case 39 -
January 8
- Crazy on the Outside
- Daybreakers - And even MORE Vampires...
- Leap Year -
- Youth in Revolt - From a Book
January 15
- The Book of Eli - Another one that I've seen today, Post-apocolyptic america, must fight to survive, then find the key.
- Fish Tank - weird
- Hoodwinked Too! Hood vs. Evil - I liked the first one... - i loved the first one.
- The Last Station - Remake of 1990's NOVEL
- The Spy Next Door - Its a Jackie Chan movie. Same as ALL his others.
January 22
- Creation - After a BOOK
- Extraordinary Measures - From a 'True' Story
- Legion
- To Save a Life -
- Tooth Fairy
January 29
- After Dark Horrorfest 4 - Numbers 1-3 weren't enough
- Edge of Darkness -
- When in Rome -
January TBA
- Pyaar Impossible (limited)

February 5
- Dear John - From a NOVEL
- From Paris With Love -
- I Love You Phillip Morris -
February 6
- Untitled Bob Marley Documentary - Documentary
February 12
- My Name is Khan -
- Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightning Thief - looks interesting.
- Remember Me -
- Valentine's Day
- The Wolfman - Oh ya, another brillian remake. could be good.
February 19
- Shutter Island - Escape Prisoner, Ohhhhh.
February 26
- A Couple of Dicks
- A Prophet - Foreign
- The Crazies - A Reinvention of an older, dumber plot.
- Takers - More Bank Robberies?
February TBA
- The Red Riding Trilogy - Adapted from Books
- Saint John of Las Vegas -
March 5
- Alice in Wonderland - REMAKE - maybe
- Brooklyn's Finest - Another Cop show, different city.
March 12
- The Back-Up Plan
- Green Zone
- Hard 10
- Our Family Wedding
March 17
- Mid-August Lunch
March 19
- The Bounty Hunter
- Hot Tub Time Machine - dumb!
- Hubble 3D - Documentary, and we've seen the stars show before.
- Last Night -
- Season of the Witch -
March 26
- Clash of the Titans - REMAKE - but definitely on my list.
- How to Train Your Dragon - Actually looks good to me.

April 2
- Diary of a Wimpy Kid - IN BOOKSTORES NOW!
- Furry Vengeance
- The Last Song- From the Bookstore!
- Mary, Mother of Christ - Documentary
- Repo Men -
- Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married Too - Oh no, not another one!
April 9
- Date Night
- The Losers
April 16
- Death at a Funeral (Screen Gems)- ReMAKE from 07
- Kick-Ass - looks interesting, but based on a Comic Book!
- MacGruber - They got this idea from a Saturday Night Live sketch.
- Piranha 3D - Sorry, I saw the National Geographic special of this too.
April 22
- Oceans - Documentary, same as the show EARTH.
April 23
- Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps - Its been a while...
April 30
- A Nightmare on Elm Street - Another one? Really? Are you sure?
April TBA
- Waking Sleeping Beauty - ReMAKE

May 7
- Iron Man 2 - This better be good! Definitely!
May 14
- Letters to Juliet - More Romeo and Juliet crap...
- Untitled Robin Hood Adventure - Do they really need another one?
May 21
- Shrek Forever After - I hope this one is good too! - Oh Yes!
May 28
- Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time - Pirates of the Caribbean, except in Persia.
- Sex and the City 2 - OH Dear, Remake of a Remake
June 4
- Killers -
- Marmaduke - ideas from a comic strip in the 50's
June 11
- The A-Team- Oh ya, watched this one growing up! - I hope its good.
- Get Him to the Greek
- The Karate Kid - Not another one! Too Many!
June 18
- Footloose - Kevin Bacon better be in this REMAKE!
- Jonah Hex - from an old TV SHOW
- Toy Story 3 - Its been a while, guess they wan t more money! - I'll see it though.
June 25
- Grown Ups - Seen this one before today too, high school mates, reunite to relive the past.
June 30
- The Twilight Saga: Eclipse - From Books, as you could guess. - I guess so.
July 2
- Knight & Day
- The Last Airbender - looks interesting, but sounds familiar. - Could be good
July 7
- Robert Rodriguez's Predators - What happened to Arnold's Predators?
July 9
- Despicable Me
July 16
- Inception (conventional and IMAX theaters)
- The Sorcerer's Apprentice
July 23
- Dinner for Schmucks
- Salt
July 25
- O Apostolo 3-D
July 30
- Beastly
- Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore - continuing another dumb story.
- Little Fockers - REMAKE
- Morning Glory
July TBA
- Hairspray 2 - Not ReMAKE
August 6
- The Other Guys - I hope its funny!
- Step Up 3 - Oh Boy, another one?
August 13
- Friday the 13th Part 2 (3D) - They really just need to stop it already!
- Ramona and Beezus - based on a series of NOVELS
August 20
- The Expendables - Remake of every old guy action film ever made
August 27
- Resident Evil: Afterlife - Sequel # 4
September 10
- The Town - From a NOVEL
September 17
- Flipped - adaptation of a NOVEL
- The Roommate - 'dangerous obsession', heard of Single White Female?
September 24
- Guardians of Ga'Hoole - Based on Childrens BOOKS
- You Again

October 1
- Alpha and Omega - they should really rethink this animation about Dogs.
- Priest - Adapted from a Tokoy comic book
- Your Highness - looks funny, but so did Monte Python
October 8
- Going the Distance - looks pointless
- Secretariat - Based on REAL events.
- The Zookeeper -
October 15
- Faster - The ROCK, just out of jail, out for revenge. Sounds like Walking Tall, another movie he did, exactly.
October 22
- Prisoners - parent after kidnapped child won't stop till they find them... sounds all to familiar.

November 5
- Due Date
- Oobermind
November 12
- Unstoppable
November 19
- Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part I - Yaaaah, from Books! But I'll definitely see it!!
- Red (Summit Entertainment) - Based on a Comic Book
November 24
- Burlesque - Remake of Moulon Rouge, which also looked bad
- Red Dawn - One of the greatest movies, 20 years ago! Ya, I'm gonna see it for sure.
November 27
- Bruce Lee
- Bruce has been done before!
December 10
- The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader - Yaaah, Another one! Hope its good. Books were so so.
December 17
- Tron Legacy - Blast from the Bast more like! - I'm gonna see this for sure too.
- Untitled James L. Brooks Comedy
- Yogi Bear
December 22
- The Green Hornet - Um... YA! But it still used to be a TV Show, and comic book
- Gulliver's Travels - Big Screen adaptation!
- Life as We Know It
December TBA
- Rapunzel - Yup, never heard this one before


So as you can see, there are PLENTY of movie remakes to see in the next year. In fact, 79 direct remakes of books or other movies, and 36 Take-offs. That's 115 remakes out of 180 total movies. Thats 63 % of all movies listed to open between now and next year are REMAKES. Less than half of Hollywood is original, and they are mostly UN-ORIGINAL. So forget writing a screenplay for your director friend. Write a good Book, and then someone will probably see it, and then shortly adapt it to be their movie! You want to know why Hollywood isn't doing as well as in previous years... That's right, there's nothing original. Then there's the few gems like Batman, Iron Man, Toy Story, Shrek, stuff like that that earns Tons of money. Sure its fun to see, but people will quickly grow old of #4, 5, 6, and 7. Look at the 'Friday the 13th' series. Its one of the best and most original horror shows, but they haven't bothered makin up anything new yet. Cause they are lazy. That's right, milk it for all you can, before you use your mind again. by then it will have rotted probably. And just think of all the shows I did watch when I was younger that they haven't remade yet! And in a few more years they'll probably try to remake the re-made movies into TV shows, or cartoons or whatever. Oh Bother.
Come up with something new already! 37 percent of the people already are, now why don't the rest of you!

2 comments:

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